You want sole custody of your two kids in the divorce. Your spouse also wants custody, but would settle for joint custody. You believe it’s in their best interests not to live with your spouse at any time for a variety of reasons.
You’re in a tough spot. The court generally wants to give out joint custody, not sole custody. To get it, you’ll have to show that it is to the children’s benefit not to live with your soon-to-be ex.
One way to potentially strengthen your case is to allow your spouse access to the kids with liberal amounts of visitation. This can be done at your house, it can be supervised in some cases, or, if you believe it’s safe, it could be done outside of the home. The kids never live with your ex, but they still spend time together.
By showing that you’re in favor of this, you demonstrate that you’re not just trying to take the kids away from your ex out of spite. This isn’t some revenge for the failed marriage. You’re not just doing it because you’re angry. You want the kids to stay involved with your ex for years, but you honestly just think it would be best if you alone had actual custody during that time. This could be physical and legal custody.
Using this tactic does not mean you’ll get it. There are many legal steps to take and it’s critical to know how the process works. But doing this may help show the court why you’re making that decision and that you really are putting the kids first.
Source: The Spruce, “How to Win Child Custody,” Debrina Washington, accessed Dec. 15, 2017