The transition that happens when you go from a two-parent home to a single parent home is going to be difficult. You and your co-parent can make this as easy as possible on your children if you work as a team to create a stable and nurturing environment. Success depends on your co-parent working with you to get this done to the fullest extent possible.
When you don’t have a co-parent who is fully on board with the changes, you will have to find ways that you can help your children and yourself. Ultimately, your goal is to help your children learn to cope with the transition in a way that they can use throughout childhood and into adulthood.
Keep things calm
The upheaval of divorce can lead to your home feeling chaotic and tumultuous. Try to make your home a safe haven for yourself and your kids. You will have to set rules to provide stability. Make sure that your rules are clearly communicated to the children so they know what to expect. Spend time helping them understand their feelings and finding ways that they can work through them in a positive way. This provides them with the skills they need to thrive no matter what changes are happening.
Always practice respect
It might be difficult to respect your co-parent, especially when they are being difficult. You should continue to speak and act in a respectful manner because this sets a good example for your children and can decrease the volatility of a hard situation. Part of remaining respectful is making sure that you are only discussing sensitive matters when it is appropriate, namely when the children aren’t present. If things seem to spiral out of control, you may need to turn to a neutral third party for help working through these matters.
Remain willing to make changes
Learning to thrive after a divorce requires flexibility. You might find that some of the rules or things that you’ve set in your home don’t work. Be willing to adjust as the situations demand can reduce the stress. This might relate to schedule changes because of things you or your ex can’t control. No matter what the situation, take the time to think about how the decisions you are making impact your children. The goal is to help them thrive. Your parenting plan should reflect this.