As a father, facing the challenges of co-parenting with another parent– your child’s mother– who suffers from mental illness can be daunting. It is essential to handle this matter with care, as it is a sensitive issue that should be addressed from a compassionate and understanding place.
One of the first things you should do in this case is hire an attorney who can help you manage the situation. Depending on the child’s mother’s mental illness, when it started, how she manages it and how it affects the children, the court does not have a one-size-fits-all approach.
Prioritize the child
The primary focus should always be your child’s safety and emotional health. It is one thing if a parent has had a mild case of depression for years, even before you divorced them, and has successfully treated the illness, and another when a mother develops a mental health condition, or an illness gets worse after the divorce, she refuses treatment and it affects the child.
Monitor your child’s behavior and well-being and be aware of any signs of distress or confusion regarding the mother’s condition. This is where communication with your child is of utmost importance. Speak with them gently and with love and allow them to open up to you about their feelings without fear of punishment.
Seek professional guidance
If mom has a mental illness and she is not treating it, denies having it, or it is simply not under control or hurting your child, you should seek professional guidance. A therapist or counselor can help provide more specifics about what is going on and guide you toward the next steps.
Document your concerns
It is critical to document your concerns. Whether it is mom having angry outbursts and taking her anger out on you or your child, things she says or does, or things that your own child may say or do that seem concerning and could be related to mom’s mental illness, document everything. Do not forget to include how these behaviors affect the child.
Speak with your attorney
While it is best to have an attorney before you begin this process and immediately after you identify that something could be wrong, it is never a wrong time to get an attorney. You will definitely need it if you decide to go to court to address the mother’s mental illness, how it is affecting your child, and what you believe is in the child’s best interests.
Navigating custody issues is complicated, no matter what. Add to that mental health on part of a parent and you may have a ticking bomb on your hands that you must address as soon as possible. Remember that this is not about hurting the other parent. This is about approaching a situation with compassion and care, while protecting your child from any negative effects that may come from their mother’s mental illness.