Men may not show their emotions easily, but there are common fears men encounter while facing a divorce. The thought of being single again can evoke negative uncertainty in both partners. However, the person who initiates the divorce is naturally inclined to have a greater sense of calm regarding the decision. Who initiates divorce most of the time anyway?
Most women complain about men not wanting to commit, yet studies show women as the predominate initiator of divorce. In fact, a study conducted by Stanford University showed nearly 70 percent of divorces were initiated by women. Although women encounter high amounts of difficulty in relationships, men appear to fare the storms much easier.
Fear of being alone
Men may find themselves holding onto a marriage that has gone past its expiration date for fear of being alone. Starting over again in relationships when you are not ready to hit the singles scene can feel extremely intimidating. Divorce can really damage a man’s self-worth and hope in finding someone else.
Fear losing connection with children
Fathers do not usually handle the thought of another man entering the picture very well after a divorce. It can be anxiety producing to think of someone else having access to your children. You might wonder if your child will admire and respect that person more than you. However, this fear can be motivation to work on yourself and develop more into an influential father, rather than a helpless victim.
Fear of judgment and criticism
Men who are facing divorce are more vulnerable to the opinions of others. This may come from judgmental relatives, religious organizations, friends and others who perpetuate the guilt and resentment. The fear of facing everyone’s reaction can debilitate a man from moving forward in a healthy way.
Fear is a powerful emotion; one that can hold you back from healing and moving forward. The temptation for many men is to jump into another relationship and never work through the issues that lead to their first marriage failing. This habit only perpetuates the cycle of unresolved issues that interferes with committed relationships. Ideally, time and deep inner-work needs to happen before any hopeful expectations can be met with another person. Give that gift to yourself, it lends itself to others as a result.